What do you hear?

We took L to get his first hearing aids at 6 weeks old.  He was so tiny and still hadn't put on a whole lot of chunck.  He still carried that newborn look about him!  As he sat there in his car seat I couldn't help but feel helpless.

I know I know, when some people read this they will say.  "whats the big deal... aren't they just like getting glasses?"  

My response to that is.  No... they are not.  Get educated if you want to understand what reallly goes on for those with hearing loss. 

Hearing aids change the way the brain has always heard sounds... or lack of.  When you put them on the brain does not know how to handle all that noise.  It goes into overdrive to compensate, filter and block out noises it doesn't know where to file it away or weather to alert the brain to thoses new noises so it sends everything as important!!!!

For those with normal hearing levels lets imagine sitting in a restaurant having a conversation with a friend.  You chat casually, you may notice a loud family next  you with kids.. you might even feel a bit annoyed that their volume is at a level that you are not comfortable with.   I say (you are not comfortable)  because it bothers or comes to attention to you.  But you do your best to focus on your friend and it becomes tolerable.  

Your brain will filter that louder noise into a file away from those things you are focusing on.  It  "filters the background noise."  And you are able to go about your business untill.... this families child drops something.   Then you notice the sounds are louder, and it has caught your attention.  Maybe it was a glass cup or silverware etc.Whatever it was  your brain had a threshold and alerted you to a louder noise.  It brought a response.  Maybe loud enough to startle you?

L got his hearing aids put on that day and was startled a lot.   He even cried several times.  When we put his hearing aids in he started hearing noises he had never heard his brain didn't know how to respond.  

He would easily startle when doors were shut, when his sister laughed out loud hard.. when the vacuum would turn on.  He would cry insessantly in the car.  I remember his car rides would normally take 20-30 minutes and it would take me more than an hour because he would be so upset I would think he would choke or pass out in his car seat so I would have to stop and console him.

L cried so much I thought something was wrong.   I had my associates degree and knew a little more about medical things than some my age.  I knew about reflux and hernias.  I had him checked we tried reflux meds.  Nothing helped.  He would start crying from about 4 in the evening until he would fall asleep after 10 or eleven.   If there was something anyone did to console their baby... I had tried it!!  I did the dietary changes for colic.  I did the hernia and  reflux appointments with the Dr.  I did baths, massage therapy, we did car rides and swings, we did rice packs and tummy sleeping.  Yes I put him to sleep on his stomace even with all the SIDS info.  I didn't sleep because he didn't sleep.  And I worried a lot.  I read a lot.  I listened to a lot of people and  I asked for a lot of advise.  

He didn't grow out of this crying stage until he was about 11 months old.  It slowly got better.  But I didn't go anywhere out of fear of his crying episodes.

Even with all of this going on I never knew if the hearing aids were at the right volume... where they adjusted too loud.  Was this causing him to startle and be scared.  Were his ears hurting because of the noise?  Was it too loud?  I would take his hearing aids out just to test it when we drove in the car and found out that it wasn't the hearing aids... he would still cry.  Finding a balance between when his brain was on overload or weather it was food, gastric, or comfort related was an ever constant war within my mommy abilities.  

I remember sitting in a rocking chair at my in laws house while he cried and cried and cried.  Everyone went about their regular routeine.  They hung out in the other room chatting and having fun and I sat with a crying baby.  I remember begging my husband to take him because I was so overdone I didn't want to break.  I didn't want to loose my control as a mother.   

Back to my story about the restaurant.  When hearing aids are placed on a hard of hearing person it becomes overload.  That feeling of startle when you  look to see what the child next  your table dropped.  Or what the loud noise was coming from.  That is the mindset of those with hearing loss for a large majority of the time they are wearing hearing aid devices.  Their mind is on constant vigilance.  Focusing to figure what noises need to be filtered.  The thing is.. it can't filter the  way a normal hearing person can.  A hard of hearing persons brain will not be able to cope instantly like eyes adjust to glasses.  Their brain will do as it was trained to do.  It will startle their nervous system.  It will allert them to every "new" and unreconized noise. 

A hard of hearing person will constantly be redirected or their attention will be brought to noises that a regular hearing person doesn't even recognize they are hearing.  If you ask a hearing individual if they can hear the wind blowing outside the window they will be able to "recall" this experience and say yes.  For those with Hearing loss... they will most likely stop what they are doing to find the source of the new noise.  It is not something their brain can file away.  They have little power to filter their background noise.  

For hard of hearing people.. Putting hearing aids on is like turning up the volume to the tv just loud enough you want to turn it down.  Just loud enough it causes a neurological or emotional response within the body... At the same time carrying a conversation with that one friend who's voice is just out of your ablilty  hear everything they are saying... not to mention a major storm might be going on outside.  And .... to add to all this... you have to carry another conversation with a person on the phone.

For hard of hearing people... their brain is playing a puzzle game all day long.  It is taking what it hears and then trying to fill in the blanks for what it isn't.  It becomes tiring, it becomes frustrating.  There are many articles that talk about mental health for the hard of hearing individuals and I am a big  advocate for mental health.  When I put my hearing aids on I have to spend some time adjusting to them in the morning.  If my children are having a rough morning, it can be aggrivating because the volume sets my nervous system on edge.  The noises are outside my comfort zone.  I will hear the heater or  AC turn on in my house.   I might hear the sound of the brush going through my hair, the water running in the sink..I often find myself looking for sources of noise while I am driving.  I often think there is something wrong with my car because it has a new sound. 

I made a list of things I do not hear on a regular basis without my hearing aids.

Running water in the sink, or bathrooms ( this has sometimes been a disaster.)

The wind

The birds

Rain, Hale or windy stormes outside

I don't hear bugs, grass hoppers or crickets

I don't hear cars until they are within a cars distance away from me.

I don't hear people who are out of my eyesight if they are speaking to me at 5 feet or more away.

I don't hear clothing as it rubs together

I don't hear the noise my blinker makes when I'm in my car

I don't hear the chime when you leave the ignition on but the car is not running

I don't hear the tires on the pavement going through the neighborhood

I don't hear cell phone noises or many noises for that matter outside of the same room I am in.

I don't hear door bells

I don't hear the little noises my kids made as babies unless I was holding them or had them close to me.

I didn't hear them breathing as babies unless I had my hearing aids on..

I don't hear the click of light switches

Or the noise your toothbrush makes. 

I am often distracted by noise because there are things I didn't realizea even made noise...Like static in the laundry.  I always felt it or saw it but never heard it.

I never knew how loud the toys were my children own.

I don't hear the trains at night that go past our neighborhood

I don't hear the t.v. at normal levels.

I don't hear people when their backs are turned or they are in another room.

I can't hear my children in the night when they call for me.  This has been a hard one.  But we cope!  Jason has become my ears at times and I help him to see details he doesn't notice!