Extra's

I quickly found my footing as a mother with a hard of hearing child.  I wasn't wearing hearing aids myself at the time.  I found this inner strength that I was assigned by God to do something different and unique with my life.  I wouldn't be raising this child in the normal sense.  I had extra's to attend to.  I had to make sure his hearing aids were cared for and protected.  This was easy when he was little.  At the time it didn't seem so.  Nursing him was sometimes a nightmare!    L would spit milk at me to be playfu and when he smiled with a mouth full of milk it would dribble down the side of his face and straight to his ear.  This quickly became a problem because Hearing aids CANNOT get wet.  They were incredibly expensive ranging from 1500 basic to 8000 a piece.   We bought the basic.  When you are making barely  enough to meet your basic needs these expences become a great stress in life.  The hearing aids could not get wet.  We made dr. appointments and were able to get some rubber sleeves or condom like covers for his hearing aids.  This also helped because as soon as L could locate his ear with his hand he would pull his Hearing aids out and they would go straight in his mouth.

I began to notice at this time that L would only nurse on one side.  I felt like a lopsided cow!

He had a tight AC muscle in his neck that only allowed him to turn his head from center to one side.  I was so concentrated on getting his hearing aids  on so he could hear language and learn it during the first year that I didn't notice it.  I didn't notice it for several months.  I was busy changing diapers, doing dishes and laundry, nursing and playtime with K.  But when I finally noticed we got into a Chyropractor and my sweet sister in law who is a massag therapist showed me how to massage it and stretch it.  Over time he gained mobility to turn his head to the other side.

The stress of keeping his hearing aids on became overwhelming at times.  His Dr. would tell me it is vital that he had them on all day.  But L would cry a lot as I mentioned earlier.  I was on constant watch mode to make sure he wasn't chewing on them.  I learned to  nurse him in different positions though!  Taking his hearing aids off and on at each nursing became a hassle because they  would get lost in couch cushions, or knocked around the room in the shuffle of pillows or blankets or little girl toys.  My stress level that first year was higher than I had ever felt in my life.  I had this everconstant list of EXTRA'S to remember!

*  rub the ac muscle so he can nurse
* keep the aids on
*don't get the aids wet
* check the batteries make sure they were working
* check the kid nonstop make sure he isn't eating the hearing aids
* don't put the aids in your pocket you will be too tired when you get home to remember them... they will get washed in the washing machine
* etc. etc. etc.


I quickly found myself feeling like superwoman but I also found myslef grieving for the time I had before.  I didn't have so many EXTRA'S with K .  I worried about that quality time.  Was she getting the attention and focus she needed.  L was on constant watch.. but what about my K girl?  When trying to confide in others my worries it became apparent that many people did not have a clue what I was experiencing.  Not even my mother.  My hearin loss was found when I was 4 and my older brother was 8.  She hadn't experienced these early days with babies and toddlers with hearing aids.  When I packed a diaper bag I had all the normal necessities, plus a container in case the aids needed to be taken out, cleaning supplies, batteries, extra covers... etc. etc. etc.

The emotions and balance of duties, and responsibilities each day could just about drive a person crazy.   My mothering experience was different than anyone else I knew.  I felt alone.



The Savior tends to know what we need and he prepares us for it.  I look back on these early days as I type and realize that he knew exactly what I needed.  He gave me a mother.  He didn't give me just one mother who had raised hard of hearing children herself and knew the pain I was going through like nobody else in my life.  He gave me 3 mothers.

My mother... she was my emotional support during those early days.  I would call and cry and cry and cry.  I would explain what so and so said and how it would make me feel.  I would drill her on how to best handle certain circumstances.  Why didn't they understand?  How could I help them to understand our situation.  My mother was the one who stuck with me for years on end.  She reassured me of my strengths.  She refocused my energy on my abilities to be a good mom.  She helped us pay for those first set of hearing aids even though I knew at the time I was a sacrafice for her. My mother, little did I know then, would be my greatest strength in raising a family with hard of hearing .  She understood my fears of how well would  L talk when he got older.  She understood my anger as I grieved some of my experiences.  She understood my strength when I went my own way instead of taking the advise of everyone else.  She was a solid rock for me to lean on.

My Step mom... she was the friend I didn't know I had!  Our friendship grew year after year.  She always reminded me of my ability to make good decisions and stand as an example for others to follow.  She knew my desires  and eternal goals more than most.  She was the rock to lean on when I needed more women than just my mom.  I needed an army of women in my life during those early years!   I alway felt strong but my strength came from these two women.

My mother in law... she was the one who thought differently and had different experiences.  She never raised a hard of hearing child and didn't understand the intimate details of our experience.  She taught me that there are different perspectives in life.  There are different ways of showing love to someone.  She taught me to take time for myslef.  She taught me to can food and grow a garden.  She taught me to be a good housekeeper.  And the things she taught me were by her example.  I am thankful that she is my mother in law.  I feel God gives you the people you need in your life.  Some because you need them for support and some because you need a different perspective and I am thankful for her.  I love all my mothers dearly.

I have a firm testimony that the trials and tribulations we go through in life, in relationships, in work and in our families will serve us to help us become exaulted beings.  I look back at my life and see blessings now where I saw road blocks then.  The saviors involvement in our life is meticulous.  It is planned and organized.  It is calculated and percise.  If we stay close to the church we have NOTHING to fear.  Even though our trials are unique to us or we feel that our trials carry EXTRA'S, the Lord will counter act those EXTRA'S with blessings in abundance.  But we must first do our part by following him!  We must not give up when we feel our lot is hard, our load in too heavy because just as we reach that point, he teaches and he blesses us.